BITTERSWEET

i think i'll always remember today, coming home and seeing an email. so sweet, that it's a little bitter it didn't come two years ago.

what does that say about my potential? what does it say about the past two years? how limited was i? how limitless can i be?

man it raises a lot of questions, and for the first time in my life, i cannot wait until monday morning rolls around.

water runs dry

whenever i get glimpses of my past, i always stop because they're so rare. i wonder where in my brain these memories are stored, and why the indexing is so poor.  my memory is really terrible.. if you bring up an event or something we did together, i'll probably utter "oh yeaaahhhh..", but for the most part, they're just slivers i can't quite seem to pick up by myself.

today i remembered (in the shower) how i used to sit in the shower when i was depressed, hoping someone would find me. i spend a lot of the time in the shower, its one of my favorite places to be. i know i'm wasting water, but there's something cathartic and soothing about it

anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i've been holding back on this blog, simply because of prior issues with public forums. but honestly, this blog here is for me. it's here to document and to remember for me, because it's the best way i know how. so hopefully lot's of pictures still, but even more words.

airplanes

i could really use a wish right now.